how can u be prego again
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
