Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
