i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize