I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
