found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
