We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
