someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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