YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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