I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
