Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize