omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
