I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize