dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
