Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
