Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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