I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
