Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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