Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
