the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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