I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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