Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
