Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
