all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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