is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I have tasted many bathrooms
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
