I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
