You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
