Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Come on in and take your pants off
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
