the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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