New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
