I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
