A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You left your phone here
Wait...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
