just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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