ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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