im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
