I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
