You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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