I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
