it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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