i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
