bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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