dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Randomize
