my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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