I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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