I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
