Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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