yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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