idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
