the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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