standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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