I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
