I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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