Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm at about main and main street
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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