He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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