Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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