You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
