dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
