i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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