why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
