Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
