u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
