Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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