ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
