We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
