I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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