i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize