u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
