You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize