Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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