I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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