Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
