I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize