you would pick up someone in the library
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
