I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
