Whatcha textin bout Willis?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize